Boundaries
Friday, January 8th, 2010When I was in my late twenties, mom of two toddlers, I was an easy mark. If anyone asked me to serve on a committee or volunteer for a job in our church or our community, I ALWAYS said yes.
A wise friend took me aside one day and said, “You know, Sue, if you work yourself to death, nobody’s going to stand over your grave and say, ‘Poor girl, she did it all for us.’ They’re going to stand over your grave and say, ‘What a fool!.’”
As a novelist, I’ve learned that if I don’t set boundaries, I lose my writing time. I try to curtail inconvenient phone conversations with a polite comment along the lines of, ”I’ll make this quick. I’m in the middle of my writing time.’ (People don’t know if you don’t tell them.) Our household password is PYOW. Pull Your Own Weight. If you wear the coat, you hang it up. If you make the mess, you clean it up. (We’re still working on that one, especially with the dog.) The dog HAS learned to wait for his walk until after my writing time. I schedule activities and interviews in the afternoons. (I’m a morning person, so that’s when I do my most intensive writing.)
Now I’m the first to admit that I haven’t perfected this boundary thing. So how about share with me and other Blog readers how you attack this problem. What works for you? I’d love to know!
Blessings, Sue Harrison