The Worst Thing
My husband and I recently helped my 90-year-old father-in-law with an article about Dad’s service during World War II. Dad has never been a great communicator, so this project was a challenge for all of us. More than once Neil and I decided that we were hearing the same story in two different versions, but throughout his narrative, Dad made one point in exactly the same way. The worst thing was when he got home.
The worst thing? As a machine gunner he fought in the front lines in France and in Germany. He had survived the odds during tough battles, had lost the other members of his machine gun crew, and yet the worst thing was when he finally got home?
He had a good wife who loved him very much, and they were faithful to each other. Their three boys were bright and rambunctious and loved their daddy. The worst thing?
Wasn’t he happy to see his wife? Oh yes!
Wasn’t he overjoyed to hold his little boys in his arms? Oh yes!
And yes, there was a job waiting for him, and a town and extended family to welcome him home. So why was it the worst thing? He just shrugged.
This week I think I finally began to understand.
When I heard that Osama bin Laden had been killed, I wasn’t surprised to feel relief. That was a given, but five minutes later I found myself in tears – not tears of joy, tears of deep sadness.
I realized that although this man who had killed so many was dead, his death did not negate what had happened to our country on 9-11. Hatred burns white hot in this world, and bin Laden’s death will not send us back to the more innocent days before…
So yes, Dad, I think I understand. The worst thing is to know that everything has changed. For always.
Praying,
Sue
I do remember him, Julia, and I also remember how quiet he was. I didn’t know why. Yes, we truly need God to guide us toward a more peaceful world. I don’t believe we can do that on our own.
Sue, I’m sure you remember Uncle J.E. Bridges, Aunt Nan’s husband. Before WW II, the war in which he served, he was a jolly, happy man; however, after the war he was so quiet that even as a five year old, I noticed. I asked my mother about his change and she replied, “Honey, I’m sure the war did that to him.”
I thought of that when I read your blog. Thankfully, Uncle J.E. did toward the end of his life begin to talk more to all of us.
There must have been tremendous amounts of guilt over being at war and over the killing that they did or they saw.
God, please guide us toward a peaceful world.
Violence is such a very sad and horrible part of our world.
Bill was in VietNam and has never liked talking about it. I think he experienced similar feelings to your father-in-law, Sue. Terrible experience and terrible memories stored away with very few people who could understand.
this is exactly how i reacted on sunday night. i woke with a heavy heart on monday, and was met with much disbelief when i said that i felt sad because all that has been lost since 9-11 was at the forefront of my mind. blaine is a young marine in my comp class at school, and last week he gave a presentation on post traumatic stress disorder. how does anyone live through what your father-in-law lived through and return to normalcy? how can we expect that. and how do we help returning soldiers who are expected to be tough and seasoned. blaine is 21 and his first tour was in fallujah, where he lost 22 friends. he survived, but did he? he deploys to afghanistan this summer. he was not celebrating in class this week. he was quiet and when i asked him if he was okay, he told me he is scared.
My heart goes out to all those who fought in wars over the years. They face what we can not even imagine, and as you point out it does not go away once they return home. This is why it is so important for these stories to be recorded.
Jackie, you know that so much better than we in the US do. We’ve fought very few wars on our own soil. In Europe during the wars, even the children knew the hardships and the horrors, and yet you are strong and value freedom. Amazing.
Me, too, Lynn. I think we saw the same thing with the guys in our generation and Viet Nam. War is hell at a multitude of levels.
Such heartbreaking situations, Karen. I’ve lived such a sheltered life, I really don’t have a clue what people have managed to live through.
i once asked my class to interview someone “old” during the christmas holidays. one young man interviewed his uncle and the man told how he had been taken as a prisioner in germany. the old man said that he had hidden a spoon, and later was able to attack the young jailer. the spoon, held against the jailer’s back, became a gun. the uncle escaped…he had never told this story, and the old man cried. the rest of the class was awed by his short report.
I have heard others from that generation say the same thing. I think they have adjusted to a whole different life that no one ‘back at home’ understands. As well as what you said about everything being changed forever. While they are away, they think they can’t wait to get back to what they left……..but when they get home, it’s different and not what they left behind. It makes me feel sad for all of them.
that is a moving post you wrote there Sue. I was sad from it. All the pain and suffering whole nations go through is incredible.